Friday, September 7, 2012

Note Disclaimer....

*disclaimer- see note on bottom of page first

So today I told myself I needed to blog. So much in my mind and not having blogged in a while I knew it needed to be done, but at the same time not knowing what to really blog about. So here is a, possibly depressing blog post today, with some serious ADD through in for good measure.


I have been doing pretty good that last couple days eating and have been getting up in the early am to do workouts. Not my favorite by any means, but 30 minutes of sweat is better then not sweating at all right?


Remember that blog a bit ago with allllll the trophies? Well, I finally just through them away. And I mean, I literally just came back from the garbage and walked back to my computer and started writing this. It makes me sad to throw all those memories away.  Dancing was who I WAS. It was how I identified myself and my saving grace. Especially during high school. High school was hell for me. Like, literal hell. You know how everyone says "if I could only go back to high school". I wouldn't wish that on anyone. Sure I had some awesome friends and amazing times. I am am thankful for that. Because with out those people I may not be here right now. But dance was the one thing that I was passionate about. That I loved, that shushed all the negative crap around me and made me feel awesome. I long for that feeling again.


So this week I have tried something new. 

I have always assumed people don't like me. (revert back to high school and one might say I am jaded from that time) So assuming people don't like me, and are judging me constantly about my actions, and especially my weight. I try to stay away from people. Like, unless I see you daily I assume you think I am a bitch and/or "damn she's put on some weight" and with that assumption, the first or the second, I walk away from people.  I avoid them, sometimes I am sorry to say I am even rude about it. I m always defensive, anxious and did I mention defensive? 

So this week I have tried to assume that everyone loves me, thinks I'm the greatest thing since a Starbucks drive thru and that  they don't care how wide my ass has gotten. And I want to say that it has worked most of the time. It made me engage with people more then I would have. And that's a good start right?!


I am so excited for fall I can't stand it! Bought me some new boots and skinny jeans and can't wait to rock them. I have been pinning all kinds of fall crafts on pintrest (drink) and am excited to start breaking out the sewing machine, glitter, baking supplies and knitting needles. Anyone else excited for fall!????

Have a great weekend everyone! Go do something crafty and fun!

*** DISCLAIMER- I am sorry for the modge podge of thoughts in this post. also as an added bonus I did not proof read it:) You may need to drink first in order for any of it to make sense. cheers!

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