Thursday, March 22, 2012


So I know I have been off the grid. But guesss whhaaaat? Doin good. Scale hasn't moved much but I will say this. No ice cream for me, doesn't mean I don't want some but I am hangin in there. Haven't been emotionally eating or sneaking food, yes bitch I sneak food, don't act like your so cool.

Knee has been ok, have been running when it's not raining and so far so good.

My musical tourettes is at an all time high so its safe to say my coworkers are lovin' me!

Just trying to keep the hope alive. The other day I broke down and asked for something I was too afraid to ask for.... and I'll tell ya kids. Who knew if you ask, you might get what you need... and I needed support and maybe a hug, but I won't openly admit that out loud. (hugs are forbidden)

So I have been asked if I want to do Tuff Mudder. I REALLY do but I am scared I can't get my ass together to do it. See, I am one of those go big or go home type of people and I HATE to let people down. Really good at letting myself down, but others, na' so mush. Has anyone out there done it? This also if followed up by a dream I have had, full of glitter and love..... sorry that's the coffee talking. I mean I have had this secret hidden awesomeness, a dream that I have always wanted to do and am really starting to wonder.... Can it be done??? Can I do it???  Am I too old and covered it fat stacky? Can fat stacky ever go away?? But I digress. I may be doing some research on the topic. Maybe one day when I find myself drunk blogging (it could happen, I drink....) I will tell you about it.

But until then, keep on rockin in the free world...

Thursday, March 8, 2012


And guess what!!! I didn't weigh in.... Ok, maybe I did, but I am not ready to talk about it. But I will say this, I am proud I have not given up, as I usually would have by now and for-fit to the fat. Instead I am going going back back to Cali Cali, sorry musical tourettes. I am going back to food journaling. I HATE food journaling but I also hate the look of my thighs and the awesome new fat I saw on them this morning as I got out of the shower... FACT: Did you know if you bend your knee to a 90 degree angle and look at the back of your leg your fat stacks up and looks HORRIBLE! Ok you can go look.... I will still be here when you get back.

OK?? I know right?! SHOCKING!!

SO now that you are just as depressed, ahemm, I mean motivated as me to get the fat stack less fat-stacky (ya I just made that up and I'm pretty sure that's how you spell it) start journaling too. YES it sucks, but it works. I like the myfitnesspal app. It's also online and free!! If you do it too please let me know and report your success next week. OK, readddddy BREAK. (Yes do the clap thing on your desk, do it! It's muscle memory people and you know you want to)

Monday, March 5, 2012

That Dude Wrote Some Deep Sh%@#T

"Your off to great places. Today is your day. Your mountain is waiting...
so get on you way!"

Dr. Suess.

So I wasn't going to blog today. I was going to quite. This morning as I got on the scale and thought "awesome, it didn't move, bla bla bla, you suck, why don't you just give up. Suddenly something in me just said OR DON"T. Holly shit now there is a revelation. Quitting is easy. Failure is an option. But you know what. My mountain is waiting. Right now I'm just chillin at the bottom, lookin up like I used to when we would go hiking every weekend when I lived in So Cal. But I LOVE to hike. Hiking is awesome, especially when you can do it with your best friend (I miss you!!!) So guess what, I'm gunna hike bitches! The dead guy was right... my ass just needs to get on my way. PERIOD.

Random other crap: My sister kicks serious ass and ran the Napa Valley Marathon yesterday. I will only admit this here because no one reads this shit anyway, I cried while driving to the first stop. I was so proud of her and all the people who trained and said "I know, my crazy ass is going to run 26 miles!" and they actually did it. Also, nothing makes you feel more motivated and yet like a tub of lard watching people double your age with 2% body fat run by you. (three times, I hit mile 8, 16 and the finish line)

Happy Monday, gotta go put on my hiking shoes bitches....

Thursday, March 1, 2012

Movin' Marbles Thursday's

YAY! I got to move a marble today.... BACKWARDS! SHIT! So ya, guess who showed up to the party this morning when I got on the scale? ALL the SHIT I ate last weekend. And since I have a PHD in talking crap about myself in my head, so it began.

But lets go backwards first:
Yesterday I went to the doctor for my jacked up knee. I have a knee, its jacked up, apparently since 2004. WHAAAA? Since 1 YEAR.AGO. when I had my Xray and they found nothing and I was told to sit on my ass and ice it and rest it.... take advil. Ya, like I'm gunna do that. I have been working out off and on dealing with the pain and it waking me at night. So as I ramble what I am really trying to say is, what is the first thing they did when I walked the doctors office. They weighed me. Crying in front of the murse was NOT an option. I spent the rest of the appointment freaking out about the scale. Usually I would binge on ice cream and give up. But I knew I had weigh in this morning.

Ok, now we are back in present time. I am upset I gained a pound. I was really not wanting to write this and part of me thinks "hey, no one is reading it anyway so why even bother letting people know." But alas, here I am writting. For some reason, and I haven't figured out why its different this time yet, I am not going to eat ice cream. I am just going to keep going. I realize that if I really want to reach my goal there will be day's like this. Mama said so right? Well, not mine, but that lady from the song did. So I am going to keep going and NOT eat ice cream tonight to punish myself for gaining a pound. But I do have to work extra hard now to try and stay on track if I want to hit my 2 pounds down a week goal.

ADD Facts of the day:
A whole school full of kids in their PJ's are so adorable
People who smoke in the rain smell. really. bad.
I still want to eat the ice cream.