And Then....

So as an update: yesterdays workout was insane-tastic! It was hard and mentally challenging and made me feel amazing.

and then...

no and then...

and then....

NO and then....

The bad "self talk" (what a lame term for talking crap about yourself) starts, the mirror says you are lumpy, and your kids pat your stomach during story time and say "wow its so mushy, are you pregnant?", and the scale says its not gunna budge. BIG DEEP BREATH. I come from many years of  treating myself like crap so its gunna take some time to tell that part of me to shut the f$#^% up! and move on! I just wish it happened sooner then later, the same way I wish my ass would shrink like shrinky dinks in the oven, I love those things, what ever happened to those? 

My boys where up all night coughing so I kept them home today. Maybe the lack of sleep helps my evil twin yell more loudly. I am sure more coffee will silence her along with keeping myself busy.

Have a happy Wednesday to all my readers. Wishing you a fabulous day. And when you doubt yourself or tell yourself worthless thoughts, take a deep breath and tomorrow is another day! Also if you see me out and about today and I look like I am hyperventilating, you know why!

Stepin' out with my baby

YAY! It's Tuesday!!! Not feeling it? Ya, me either. But today is better then yesterday. I did manage to drag my sorry butt to the gym yesterday. My head wasn't in it, and I knew if I did a workout on my own it would be sucky, so I checked the schedule and took the one class they were offering at that time. Step.

Yep, I took a old fashioned, lets blow out your knees, holly crap how do they have so many risers on their step?, step class. Haven't taken one in years. It was actually a good challenge for my brain and a nice break from the usual.

Today I am going to try another new class they just started offering at my gym. Boot camp. Now I love me some boot camp style classes and have taken several before from other places so I am anxious to see how this one stacks up against the rest. The teacher is my trainer so I know I will get my ass handed to me. As a bonus it should be nice and hot so throwing up may be an option.  I have already started to chug water like a college kid at a frat party so I hope it all works out well. I will let you know tomorrow how it went.

Side note: If you read my blog please become a follower if you can or please feel free to comment when I post it on facebook. Its great motivation and keeps me accountable when I know people are checkin' in on my insanity.

Have a great day! WHEN IN DOUBT, SQUAT IT OUT!

SIng it George....

Faith

   [feyth] Show IPA

noun

1. confidence or trust in a person or thing: faith in another's ability.

2. belief that is not based on proof: He had faith that the hypothesis would be substantiated by fact.

3. belief in God or in the doctrines or teachings of religion: the firm faith of the Pilgrims.

4. belief in anything, as a code of ethics, standards of merit, etc.: to be of the same faith with someone concerning honesty.

5. a system of religious belief: the Christian faith; the Jewish faith

OR George Michael's song. Here is a verse from FAITH (yet another of his "no really, I am straight" 80's songs. and an amazingly awesome Pandora station):

 Before this river
Becomes an ocean
Before you throw my heart back on the floor
Oh baby I reconsider
My foolish notion
Well I need someone to hold me
But I'll wait for something more

So for those of you who don't know me well. I don't practice a religion and my family didn't growing up, unless dysfunction is a religion (sorry Mom, love you:)). I don't study a "Faith" so according to dictionary(dot)com I could never have #3 or #5. And lets not start about the whole Religious thing now because frankly, its Monday, and I haven't had enough coffee. Hence my smug undertone. 

Now I didn't have the greatest weekend, and also it may be because I decided to get on the scale this morning and instead of it giving me a high five it laughed, but today, today I feel like I am loosing my Faith in my weight loss journey. I know I just have to beleive that if I keep moving forward and doing what I am suppose to do, the weight will come off. My body will become strong and toned. I will no longer depend on Ben or Jerry to help me feel better. I have got to have faith in myself, and today I don't.  This River has become and ocean but I'll wait for something more.... but today I just want a cheeseburger and a pint of Chocolate Therapy.

P.S. can someone tell me how to post a picture with your blog??

Right now I'm with George Michael

Faith

   [feyth] Show IPA

noun

1. confidence or trust in a person or thing: faith in another's ability.

2. belief that is not based on proof: He had faith that the hypothesis would be substantiated by fact.

3. belief in God or in the doctrines or teachings of religion: the firm faith of the Pilgrims.

4. belief in anything, as a code of ethics, standards of merit, etc.: to be of the same faith with someone concerning honesty.

5. a system of religious belief: the Christian faith; the Jewish faith

OR George Michael's song. Here is a verse from FAITH (yet another of his "no really, I am straight" 80's songs. and an amazingly awesome Pandora station):

 Before this river
Becomes an ocean
Before you throw my heart back on the floor
Oh baby I reconsider
My foolish notion
Well I need someone to hold me
But I'll wait for something more

So for those of you who don't know me well. I don't practice a religion and my family didn't growing up, unless dysfunction is a religion (sorry Mom, love you:)). I don't study a "Faith" so according to dictionary(dot)com I could never have #3 or #5. And lets not start about the whole Religious thing now because frankly, its Monday, and I haven't had enough coffee. Hence my smug undertone. 

Now I didn't have the greatest weekend, and also it may be because I decided to get on the scale this morning and instead of it giving me a high five it laughed, but today, today I feel like I am loosing my Faith in my weight loss journey. I know I just have to beleive that if I keep moving forward and doing what I am suppose to do, the weight will come off. My body will become strong and toned. I will no longer depend on Ben or Jerry to help me feel better. I have got to have faith in myself, and today I don't.  This River has become and ocean but I'll wait for something more.... but today I just want a cheeseburger and a pint of Chocolate Therapy.

P.S. can someone tell me how to post a picture with your blog??

 

Its a Starting Point.

So I did the deed. Stripped, and got all uncomfortable while standing there awkwardly letting my fat get pinched. But I was prepared for the results and actually had a number in my head- I was right. 32%. I am 32% whobbly bits of ice cream, carb, and sugar goodness. When the wighed me I turned away. I have an idea where I'm at but with my history its all about what the scale says. I know from proper education and the awesome support of some MAJORLY cool people in my life I need to shoot for a % NOT a number on the scale. But for some reason numbers will forever haunt me. Whatever....

I don't normally post on the weekends but I said I would let you know and I did. I haven't really figured out what I want to drop %age wise in the next two weeks. I am hoping my trainer and another supporter of Team Cankles will help me set a realistic goal. I set the "scale" goal for 2 pounds a week. But bottom line, if I feel better and can rock the pintrest skinny jean outfit, eh I'm at peace with my thighs. Let's face it, those cute pintrest outfits are worn by 16 year old skinny chicks that haven't seen the adventures of ice cream binges that actually go straight to your ass or the awesome extra "where did that fat come from, oh ya that's right, getting knocked up" weight.

Have a fabulous weekend Y'all. Today is my sons 4th Birthday and I have to go make vanilla cupcakes with cookie dough frosting. (Those who don't know, I am a baking QUEEN)

Judgment Day....

Let me begin with this quote from an email I wrote to my Ya Ya. She asked that I put it in my next blog

"Its not like I'm gunna stock the chick and want to wear her skin (and even if I did she has 2% body fat and I couldn't even wear her as a skirt...)"

Let's let that sink in...

So Good Morning! 

The beginning of July I got on the scale and almost cried. I then went straight to the pantry and ate. Because that's how I do it.

Great day- ice cream

Crappy day- ice cream

Stressed- chips and ice cream

Saturday- ice cream

You get the idea. Anyway I decided to reverse the hold on my gym membership and get back in there. You know how sometimes you look in the mirror and think "oh, its not that bad, the scale says one thing but I can still get in my jeans." Honey, spandex doesn't lie. So I let my fat flag fly and have been changing some of my eating habits and decided to bite the bullet. I WILL WEAR THAT OUTFIT THIS FALL I PINNED ON PINTREST WITH THE GIRL IN SKINNY JEANS DAMN IT! I signed on for ten weeks with a trainer. Week one has been awesome. My mood really responds to the gym. And I just want to say sorry now to all the people I look like I want to kill at the gym, its not you its me. I should also (kinda') apologize to those who find my I <3 my Cankles shirt offensive, because that's you, not me, and it should make you smile. Unless you don't know what cankles are, in which case you should google it because you may suffer from them and then you can join my club. (I am not only a member, I'm also the President) But today is the day of reckoning. I am getting my body fat measured today. I have not weight myself since that horrible day a few weeks ago when the scale said mean, mean things to me and made me eat that ice cream. (yes, my scale talks, doesn't yours?) I have no idea what I should expect and don't know if I even want to know what my % is because I am afraid it will make me feel horrible and drive me to eat and bla bla bla.... 

So stay tuned. Appointment is this evening. I will let you know how it goes.... Happy lets-find-out-how-much-fat-I-have-on-my-ass Friday!

Spanx Hell....

In my fitness world there is a lot going on right now, but I will save that crazy for tomorrow. Lets have story time....

Yesterday I decided to cram a workout in between the small amount of time I had before I had to pick up my kids and get to a friends birthday party. I did an one hour and 15 minute workout in 50 minutes.(cut out some of the warm up and the abs section of my workout and made it work.) As I rushed into the gyms bathroom, grabbed my crap, and headed for the showers I was in crazy rush mode! Let's not even talk about trying to cram your sweaty ass with all your gear into a small space, trying your hardest not to let it hit the floor or get wet, and strip, shower, and then change into your next outfit in a space the size of a fridge. (Yes, I am that girl that will not get naked in public, because, lets get real, you act like your not checking out someones legs for cellulite because they are all skinny while they are changing in the locker room but you are... and you know it).

Here is where panic sets in. My muscles are jello-y goodness from my speedy, kick ass workout, when what happens next is a joke played on me, well played Karma, well played...

Have you ever tried to put on spanx while still semi wet, crammed in a shower, in a huge rush, and your arms are not strong enough to PULLLLLLL them over your sausage legs from the workout you just did???

Let me know when your done laughing from the visual.....

Ok, ya done? Super. Ya its a great time. I made it work, got the kids picked up on time and made it to the awesome party. Where I had birthday cake. I KNOW, I'm a horrible person. But after the bonus spanx workout I think I deserved it.