We need to talk....

I don't know if you have seen the post on pintrest (drink) about wearing mom jeans? The picture is a side by side of a girl wearing two different styles of jeans. One looks great (Ya if I was a size five with a little butt I would look amazing too) and the other looks good but not as amazing. Unlike some people who pin lots of crap on pintrest (drink) I actually read, craft, go back and use a lot of the crap I pin. Anyway, the pins link takes you to a blog about wearing jeans and rockin' styles that work and are NOT mom jeans. She even specifies what specific things to look for to make sure they are not mom jeans.

here is the link for what I am talking about.... Here is the thing. I get a lot of jeans from Old Navy and Levi. I started to think about my jeans and I have a feeling...

DUN
DUN
DUUUUNNNNNNN.

I MAY own a pair of mom jeans, I may also be in denial. And to get even more real up in here. I am wearing them today.... The pocket placement is at my butt, not on the curve, AND to get even more out of control the waist sits at my belly button! OMG- what have I done! Its not like they are acid wash or anything! Don't get that crazy. (However, I am also wearing neon yellow sweatbands at this moment. A gift from a co-worker. They match my yellow cardigan I am wearing today. HALAAA! Thanks Jaime!) But they suck in my gut so nicely. I don't have to worry about my baby moosh spilling over the top of my jeans while I sit at my desk. And speaking of sitting at a desk. How could anyone really know I am even wearing mom jeans, besides the fact I just told you. Oh crap. So what do I do? I work in a warehouse, and during shipping season I help out in the warehouse and there is no need to even care what you look like cus your lugging boxes all day. Do I get rid of them?? What do I do? Damn you pintrest (drink) for informing me of my flaws. I curse you but at the same time I guess it was sort of like an intervention and now I know. Pandora's box has been opened. The only way to solve this problem is to go shopping. Really I mean how else can this be resolved?! Then I guess I should say Thank you, thank you pintrest (drink, damn hope your not a light weight!) for opening my eyes and giving me a true excuse reason to go shopping.

Happy Wednesday all. Hope I have left you educated and let me know if you too need to join me in my jean shopping mission!

Figured out how to add pictures!

So today this happened....

As I may have mentioned I used to dance and stuff. My dad has been cleaning out a storage locker recently and found some of my trophies. Some have already made there way to the trophy graveyard, AKA the garbage. I have had them sitting in my office in the box for a while now and today my co workers decided to have an intervention of epic proportions and bring them all out and make me pose with them. Please also note the banner they put on my wall from one of my dance conferences I went to. SUPER AWESOME! It made me miss it all. Next month I am hopefully starting a new dance class I have always wanted to try, if my kids sports schedules don't get too crazy. Stand by for that announcement.

In other news, my eating has been OK. With back to school and new soccer season starting and soon my other son is starting something as well I will have to re vamp my schedule some how to get in at lease 4 days a week. I did get up at 5 am yesterday and did a video. I am thinking of having a Monday morning weigh-in, complete with posting my current weight. But people in this town are caddy, no, not you though, your great.... but I am afraid to put myself "out there" like that....

I will however put this picture out in the universe....

You are welcome.

Bad, Bad Dream

I don't know about you, and I have been told that I'm crazy, ya ya stop laughing, I know I'm bat shit, anyway. I have REALLY vivid crazy dreams, do we need to recall the "I got hit by a bus" blog??? 

Last night I drempt I was having to twirl in a parade. (Andi I blame you and your pinning batons for this) When I pulled up my costume I have all this excess, loose, wrinkly, oddly very tan skin hanging from my legs from hip to knee. I was HORRIFIED that I had to march looking like this. And then I woke up.

Maybe this is a warning. A warning that if I don't tone up and loose some lbs that is my future. Also, use some sun screen for heavens sake! Geez! Tan legs are great, looking at them all wrinkly and jiggly, not so much.

On to another topic. I saw in my favorite blog today that she is doing a give away for these headbands. Apparently the don't slip. This chic lives in TX and is an avid runner and soft ball player. If she says they work. They have to work. bic bands. They look super cute. I am going to order one and see if they are worth it. I will keep you posted!!!

Start of week 4- an update

 

Holly hell its been hot lately. And you know what happens when its hot and you have fat legs? Chub rub.... ugh. Wha? TMI?? Seriously though that stuff hurts and reminds me to lay off the ice cream.

And in other news.... I have been drinking water like crazy! The people at my work may hate me because I use the bathroom so much. I am thinking of getting a pedometer to see how many steps I take a day just to the bathroom. Does the urge ever stop? Geez.

So a couple weeks ago I mentioned that I hired a trainer and my goal was to loose 20 pounds in ten weeks.  So far I am only down 3. Waa Waa Waaaaaaa. Lay off the sugar fatty..... Damn. I am putting in the workouts. Now its time to suck it up and DO WORK! I got this. I have started using my calorie counting app again and have been bringing stuff to work to eat. I will keep you posted for next weeks weigh in. I can tell that I am starting to tone up. That is awesome. I LOVE feeling strong, I just have to remember that feeling when I want sugar at night.

Is everyone ready for school to start??

When in doubt, bike it out...

Afternoon all! Today is suppose to be a HOT one!

Yesterday I hit up the gym for a little cardio. I decided to try something different. I started at a low setting on the ellitical (mine was 7) and every time the song changed I upped the resistance by one. And as an added bonus when a really good hook would come on a song I had to sprint. It was AMAZING yet horrible all at the same time. The was sweat and jiggling and rocking out. To onlookers I was a "people watching" dream I'm sure. At level 11 I wanted to cry. Didn't make much past that and hopped on the bike. Haven't done the bike in forever do to a knee issue but what the heck... right?! Knees are over rated. So then I did random resistance till I had to leave and get home. couple notes on riding the bike:

1. Use two towels, one on either elbow rest for maximum comfort and to ward off elbow slippage and sweat.

2. Pick a rocking station on Pandora and don't be affraid to rock out while riding  I like Pitbull (i'm so hard core right!?, WHAM!,  Tone Loc, Salt N Peppa

3. Be mindful of where your shirt and pants meet. No one wants to see you whale tale or muffin top! which brings me to number 4.

4. From experience- make the proper underwear selection prior to your workout if you're going to hit the bike that day. See number 3 and/or know there will be friction. We will just leave it at that.

5. Don't be a sissy la la and not challenge yourself. I hate seeing people riding the bike and look all "look at me, I'm riding the bike super fast and I'm so cool. I've been on this thing for 30 minutes now and I still have no sign of back sweat." Um , you are an IDIOT and a waste of gym space. Turn up the resistance, crank the tunes, and stop bouncing like a freak on the seat because you don't have enough resistance. Sweat should be oozing out of you. Yes, oozing, that is what workouts on a bike do, they cause you to ooze.

6. If you have some junk in the truck sitting on the bike seat will suck. I can only imagine what it looks like from the back but I'm sure its wide and it ain't pretty. You will probably have to adjust your position several times. I always seem to feel like I am going to fall off the seat forward. Maybe that's just me?

7. Use the foot straps. You don't have to be all fancy and get the clip shoes (unless your SO hard core), but do take the time to adjust the straps, it makes for a better workout and your foot won't slip off causing you to bang your cankle on the bike. (why is it asking my to spell check cankle, its a word!!)

8. See number 3

9. Drink water! Like I said there will be lots of oozing and if you listen you have extra towels to catch said ozzing and if you are challenging yourself there will be lots of it so you must HYDTRATE!

10. the next day you will feel violated. yes, that's what I said.

out of the box

Bla Bla Bla, fell off the wagon, there were a few ice cream involved incidences....

But here I am... blogging. Not letting the fat win the fight. I don't know if I told you guys but for the last couple weeks I have had a brand new scale sitting on my bedroom floor just waiting to pop out of the box, like one of those creepy jack-in-the boxes. And if I said I opened it before. I lied. Today I did. Not what I wanted to see, but these thighs weren't built in a day. I have gotten in some crazy workouts lately. Some I loved, others I wanted to cry and kick someone in the throat. But I didn't give up. So that counts for something....

My sons Birthday party was great. The weather was totally bi polar that day. The kids did get to swim for a bit. The bounce house was just the thing to save the day and the kids loved it!

So ya, I'm here... just drinking some water and thinking about what I won't be eating for dinner.... waaa waa waaaaaaa.

Over Share and 50 Shades Update

Lately I have been on a quest. One that I am still on. The perfect workout "shorts", not to be confused with bike shorts. I don't know about your legs, but I have what some like to call "soccer" legs. You know the ones. Mine are from years of dance. Thick, muscular (getting there slowly, but currently have a nice extra helping of "padding") and will never be mistaken for toothpicks. Ya those. I will easily admit that I am very particular about my workout wear. And it will depend on that days confidence level what I will wind up wearing. Currently I like knee length cotton shorts or capri length black spandex workout pants. The thicker the better, as to not see the dimples in my ass as I to kettle bells swings ect. and also to reduce the amount of jiggle. Tops- I LOVE to wear my ruffles with love (look her up on etsy) tank top that says sweat is fat crying.  Or I wear anything that will stay down, not show off the baby jiggle, is hopefully sleeveless, and is the right amount of loose meets tight. I told you I was picky...

Lately my legs have been telling me they need to be free. With the hot weather I want to wear shorts. I see all the strong confident women wearing running shorts. I want to too!! pick me, pick me! But here is where my problem lies. Did I mention I have thick legs? Ok, you got it. Now here is where I over share- My inner thighs have a tendency to eat my shorts and they bunch up in my crotch leaving me to embarrassingly tug them down every five seconds during my workout. There must be something out there for girls like me! Right?! I can't possibly be the only girl with this problem. So I will continue my search, unless one of my readers have already solved this problem?? Please do tell!

50 Shades update:

I stopped reading at page 63. She just got picked up at the bar. Here are my findings so far: SHE IS A FREAKING WHINER!! If I want to read a chick whining, I would read my own blog, geez. So needless to say, I have stopped reading it and lent it to a friend who "OMG I love it" bla bla bla. I have picked up a book I have been wanting to read for a while and "OMG, I love it." Bossypants by Tina Fey. She is just my kind of offensive and snide humor. I know we would totally be BFF's in real life. Tina, if your reading this call me!

Happy Thursday! Hope it doesn't suck.

And Then....

So as an update: yesterdays workout was insane-tastic! It was hard and mentally challenging and made me feel amazing.

and then...

no and then...

and then....

NO and then....

The bad "self talk" (what a lame term for talking crap about yourself) starts, the mirror says you are lumpy, and your kids pat your stomach during story time and say "wow its so mushy, are you pregnant?", and the scale says its not gunna budge. BIG DEEP BREATH. I come from many years of  treating myself like crap so its gunna take some time to tell that part of me to shut the f$#^% up! and move on! I just wish it happened sooner then later, the same way I wish my ass would shrink like shrinky dinks in the oven, I love those things, what ever happened to those? 

My boys where up all night coughing so I kept them home today. Maybe the lack of sleep helps my evil twin yell more loudly. I am sure more coffee will silence her along with keeping myself busy.

Have a happy Wednesday to all my readers. Wishing you a fabulous day. And when you doubt yourself or tell yourself worthless thoughts, take a deep breath and tomorrow is another day! Also if you see me out and about today and I look like I am hyperventilating, you know why!